


Occasional Dreams

by Andovia212



Series: Fallen Stars AU [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe- Fallen Stars, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andovia212/pseuds/Andovia212
Summary: NOTE: THIS IS PART OF AN AU!! The full AU is made of asks and fics and can be found here: https://fallen-stars-au.tumblr.com/He still thinks about them sometimes- all the humans he left behind four years ago. But the one he hurt the most is the one he secretly wishes he could talk to the most.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe
Series: Fallen Stars AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092398
Kudos: 5





	Occasional Dreams

He thought about them.

Not as often anymore- he had so many duties as a Diamond to keep up with, especially with none of the help from Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl he’d gotten used to before _she_ came along and messed them up- but Steven never went more than a few days thinking about the ones he’d given up.

Sure, he still saw them. Especially since he could no longer reliably ask one of the gems to go to the grocery store or to run errands for him. Not many of the people he’d grown up calling friends were still in town, but the ones that were there had long since accepted he’d no longer speak to them beyond what was necessary. So his mind tended to wander about how their lives were beyond the friendly smile customer service demanded.

Were the older kids- now young adults since they were 19 and 20- off at college studying? Moved to a big city? What did they have planned for the future? What was everyone up to? Who’d had relationships? How had everyone done in school? The questions continued.

And then there were the more selfish questions his brain would rattle off to him late at night when he was hunched over paperwork on his diamond tablet or when he was trying to sleep.

Were they still upset at him? Did they ever forgive him? Were the ones who had expressed worry still worried? Or was he nothing more than a reoccurring face now? Did they ever think about him any? Could they ever guess he was thinking about them? Could they ever sense that he always sent silent well-wishes to them all on their birthdays and holidays?

Usually if he couldn’t shut them off in time, those would lead to the most selfish thoughts and questions that had ever passed through his head. The ones that had never stopped reoccurring practically every day since that fateful moment when he was thirteen.

How was Connie?

All the previous questions applied to her as well, but while he’d just stopped speaking to everyone around town gradually (as it turned out, he couldn’t get away with just dropping everyone at once without the humans and the gems of Beach City growing concerned about him)…

Steven Quartz Diamond Universe had quite a few regrets in his life- most of which were sealed in bubbles floating around in the Temple- but he felt pathetic at just how many of them paled in comparison to the day he left Connie Maheswaran alone on the beach.

It had been over three years- almost four- since that day, and he could still hear her sobs perfectly… Her sobs, her yelling. Yelling he rightly deserved for hurting her, but he only did it once so that he never could again. How _hard_ it was to not break down in tears of his own and beg for forgiveness for suggesting it—for even considering it.

It had never seemed fair. He chose to make her leave his life for the sake of protecting her, so the fact it had hurt both of them so much… it had always made what seemed to be the right choice feel very much like it had been the wrong one.

And then the final question. The one he never dared to let himself finish. It only really completed itself in the times when he was tossed in and locked away in that small tower near the middle of Homeworld’s center city—so impossibly isolated for days, weeks, one time even months on end with only daily, no-contact drops of food and water that he couldn’t help let his mind go to the “what if” for the sake of staying sane.

What would she do if he called her today?

He was positive her home number was the same since there’d be zero reason to change it, and Dr. Maheswaran was the sort of person who definitely would keep the house phone even after the three of them had proper cell phones (rather than the simple flip phone Connie had when they were kids).

But he knew he couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t do it.

He’d been right about his life, after all. It was far too dangerous for a human to be involved in. Hell, his dad was just barely living proof of that fact.

Sometimes he could dream.

But for the moment, he just shook himself to focus on what Yellow was saying as their meeting with the Zircons dragged on.


End file.
